31 Days of Gratitude Photo Challenge-Day 17

FRAGILE


“My sweet sweet daughter, how fragile you are to me. You have such a strong exterior, but you are so like your mother. That is what scares me.”

My worst fear was always that my traits would be past onto my daughters and about two years ago, when my oldest was 13, I started seeing signs of bipolar in her. What I’m grateful for is that I now have the strength to not only see this, but to get her the help that she needs. She won’t ever have to walk in her illness alone or wonder what is wrong with her. She will never have to go through a season or a lifetime of self-medication to try to make some sort of sense out of her life. 

My fragile flower is growing into a strong woman right before my eyes. We have our differences. Don’t all teenage daughters and their moms? Despite all of that, she knows I’m here, fighting the same fight with her and that means the world! 

31 Days of Gratitude Photo Challenge-Day 17

FRAGILE


“My sweet sweet daughter, how fragile you are to me. You have such a strong exterior, but you are so like your mother. That is what scares me.”

My worst fear was always that my traits would be past onto my daughters and about two years ago, when my oldest was 13, I started seeing signs of bipolar in her. What I’m grateful for is that I now have the strength to not only see this, but to get her the help that she needs. She won’t ever have to walk in her illness alone or wonder what is wrong with her. She will never have to go through a season or a lifetime of self-medication to try to make some sort of sense out of her life. 

My fragile flower is growing into a strong woman right before my eyes. We have our differences. Don’t all teenage daughters and their moms? Despite all of that, she knows I’m here, fighting the same fight with her and that means the world! 

31 Days of Gratitude Photo Challenge- Day 16

STRENGTH


So, obviously my post from yesterday didn’t even upload. I thought just the media didn’t, but looking back….nothing did. We were up north for the weekend and I get virtually no service. 

Here we go, Day 16 take 2. When I think of strength, I’m grateful for my boyfriend. He didn’t have to take on me in my current state of health. On top of taking all of me as I am, he has taken the task of financially and emotionally taking care of my two daughters on his shoulders as well. 

This takes a huge amount of strength on his part. We are not a light load to carry. Eternally grateful to him for being here for us in our greatest time of need. His love and compassion is never-ending. His strength carries me through on my hardest days. 

31 Days of Gratitude Photo Challenge-Day 15

EMOTIONS


Nothing oh nothing can get my emotions rolling than the image of my Lord on the cross. I feel every emotion all at once! It is amazing!

I took this picture in Indian River, Michigan at the Cross in the Woods. It has been one of my favorite places to go since childhood and in the past 10 years has new meaning to me. 

It means the promise of a new life. Hope for a better tomorrow. I feel peace, love, gratefulness, sadness, and joy all together at the foot of the cross. I know what I must do and my vision is clear. Ending love is given without a cost to me a siner. How amazing is Grace?????

Book Review Time!!!! “The Hope Chest”

Hope

One little word full of promise. That is what this book is all about. The main character suffers from ALS, a chronic condition that deteriorates the body and results in death. Despite her condition, she remains hopeful. I could relate to her on a certain level being stuck in a body that no longer seems like your own. 

My condition doesn’t result in my death, well eventually because bodies don’t last forever, but not at her same rapid demise. Even so, many of her thought processes, memories and dreams reflect my own. 

Another aspect of the book that touched my heart was the idea that family isn’t always blood related. We can find a sense of family at the most unexpected times. Family is who is there for us and who loves us. I do not have any “family” to call my own, but I sure do have a huge support system. They are my family. 

If you are looking for a good read that touches your heart, this is it. ❤️

31 Days of Gratitude Photo Challenge- Day 14

OLD


Christmas morning 1992

I never knew that his gift was to be the gift that would not only save my life one day, but change it completely and become my most valued possession on this earth. 

My bible is written in, highlighted, dog eared, has bobby pins and napkins for book marks, and contains the words that my soul  survives on. 

It wasn’t always this way. My bible was tucked  away in a box and forgotten for many years. I may have been given it way back in 1992, but it didn’t become my life blood until the worst night of my life in 2007. 

I had nothing to love for anymore. It was time to move on from this world. I couldn’t stand the pain anymore. No one understood me or cared enough to try. Kneeling on my bedroom floor, I was filled with feeling of complete hopelessness. These thoughts and more raced through my head as the hot tears rolled down my cheeks, the cold barrel of the gun pressed tight against my temple. 

Out of nowhere, a voice! The most calming voice I’ve ever heard. “I love you.” Somehow I knew it was Jesus, even though I hadn’t thought about him in years. My mind shifted to the Bible. I remembered that it was in a box in the back of my closet. 

I had an overwhelming urge to find it. I dug and dug and finally found my old Bible. I randomly opened it up and read “When you go through deep waters I will be with you” Isaiah 43:2. I was instantly filled with a peace that I cannot explain. I knew I was not alone. 

I’ve spent the past 10 years not only studying the words that are printed in this book, but getting to know it’s author and in turn know myself on a deeper level. 

The Weekly Clan 

He comes like a thief in the night and wakes you out of your magnificent dreams. His problems, he throws at you to carry his load. Oh, Monday no one likes you. 

Tuesday is so shy and quiet no one notices her. She sneaks by without a glance from the crowd. Nothing is unique about her, and this is why she cries into her pillow at night. 

Oh boy, look who it is! What a stud! Even though Wednesday has been in more beds than he can’t count, he can still turn the head of every woman when he walks in the room. 

There she is. Hurry, hide! Just hearing her voice is slow torture! Everything she does just drags on and on. Is there anything that Thursday can do fast? 

My favorite gal in the whole wide world!!!!! Yippee, Friday is here! She is so awesome! Always filled with so much hope and anticipation for the future! Positivity just seeps from her pores! 

Saturday, you’ve finally made it! I know you are so busy. Always too much to do and not enough time to do it in. You are my main man! 

One more person needs to arrive……..

Hopefully, he gets off the couch in time. Sunday, is so relaxed. It is hard to get him moving. 

31 Days of Gratitude Photo Challenge- Day 13

New

What a fitting day for the word “New” as my gratitude challenge word today. 

I’ve spent the last year working on growing my hair out to its natural color. As a hairstylist, this is no easy task. I’m always seeing and learning the latest trends and wanting to try them out. 

The only thing working in my favor over the past year has been my physical state. I just never have the energy to do my hair and it is either just dried naturally and finger combed or thrown in some resemblance of a “messy bun” on top of my head. 

For the past two weeks I have really been thinking about coloring it. Thinking that if I color it a bold color, I might feel like I have a little life back in me. 

So here is my new hair. It is wet, but you get the point. 

She isn’t Me

That image in the mirror isn’t me

 She is strong. She is able. She is capable of doing so many things that I am not. 

That woman can carry on her career, take care of her family, work a second job, keep her friendships strong, maintain her health and fitness goals, and still find downtime to do the things she enjoys. 

Her body is strong. She takes pride in her appearance, always trying out the newest trends in makeup and hair. The reflection in the mirror never leaves the house without perfectly coordinating her outfit. 

She keeps a genuine smile on her face while running her daughters around to all of their activities while somehow squeezing in that extra workout or yoga class. Looking in the mirror, I finally realize that…..it is me 

It is the me that is trapped inside of my body longing to get out. 

How did this happen?

How and when did my own body become a prison? 

31 Days of Gratitude Photo Challenge- Day 12

INSIDE


They say the eyes are the window to the soul. I tend to agree with this statement on so many levels. I decided to post this older picture of myself today for the challenge, because when I look at this picture my eyes really stand out to me. 

The journey to get inside a person is easy or hard depending on how many walls that individual has built up. No matter who the person is, there are so many things that you can tell about what is going on inside through the eyes. 

This is why it is a challenge for many people to maintain eye contact…..too much will be revealed. 

Let me in!

While you stay out!